


Galaxy Angel drabbles

by KB9VCN



Category: Galaxy Angel
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2007-01-01
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-23 03:54:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 48
Words: 5,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8313046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KB9VCN/pseuds/KB9VCN
Summary: Published 1-Jan-2007; humor; 100 words.For the 31_days "the date is long done" prompt.Recycling a joke from an old Benny Hill song.





	1. A Date Which Will Live In Infamy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 1-Jan-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[the date is long done](http://31-days.livejournal.com/907062.html)" prompt.
> 
> Recycling a joke from an old Benny Hill song.

A dejected Ranpha joined the other Angels in the conference room.

"Miss Ranpha? Is something wrong?" Milfeulle asked.

"I had a hot date, last night," Ranpha said, "but it ended badly."

"Oh dear!" Milfeulle said. "Are you alright? What happened?"

"He seemed like a really nice guy, and we seemed to hit it off," Ranhpa said sadly. "But later, after I invited him back to my room, we had a huge argument. Things were thrown, and there were even some tears."

"Oh dear!" Milfeulle said again. "What happened?"

Ranpha sighed. "I had to unlock my door and let him escape."


	2. They're Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 27-Jan-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[the Angels can only get leftovers today](http://31-days.livejournal.com/907062.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains mild cruel humor, but nothing worse than what's already in the anime. Reader discretion is advised.

Mint and Vanilla found Forte lying face-down on a conference room couch. "Is something wrong?" Mint asked.

"I'm so! hungry!!" Forte said weakly. "But I don't have any food in my room, the commissary is closed, and it's too late to order anything. There aren't even any nearby frontier planets where I could hunt small game!"

"I'm sorry," Mint said, " but we don't have any food, ourselves."

A drooling Forte slowly looked up. "That's okay... MINT and VANILLA..."

Mint and Vanilla sweat-dropped.

Forte held up her handgun and took it off safety.

Mint and Vanilla took a step back.


	3. Angel Framed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 30-Jan-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) 2006 Theme Exchange #30 "with clouds between their knees" prompt.
> 
> Yeah, I know [magnetic clouds](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnetic_cloud) wouldn't really do that. But I'm running out of ideas here.
> 
> This contains cheesy adult humor. (Be glad it ends at 100 words.) Reader discretion is advised.

"It was the strangest thing," Forte said to Milfeulle. "I flew my Angel Frame 'Happy Trigger' through a magnetic cloud, and it overwhelmed my shields. It didn't hurt me, but an electric charge built up in the cockpit, and suddenly, industrial-strength static cling trapped me in my own clothing. These long sleeves pinned my arms to my sides, and my legs were wrapped up tight in my skirt. I couldn't move."

"Goodness," Milfeulle said. "What did you do?"

"What else could I do?" Forte said. "I leaned forward, held my chest over the controls, and flew the ship with my—"


	4. How High The Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 18-Feb-2007; humor/parody; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[how the trickster stole the moon](http://31-days.livejournal.com/934944.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also "[The Holes Around Mars](http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/32360)" by [Jerome Bixby](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerome_Bixby).
> 
> This contains silly slapstick violence. Reader discretion is advised.

Mint and Ranpha stood on the featureless surface of an uninhabited planet.

"I thought," Ranpha said,"that the 'Lost Technology' we're seeking was on one of this planet's moons, not on the planet itself."

"It is," Mint said. "But this moon is tiny, and it has an extremely low orbit."

"What!?" Ranpha asked impatiently. "Where IS this moon, anyway?— OOF!!"

Ranpha was knocked on her face from behind by a slowly drifting rock. It then passed harmlessly over the shorter Mint's head.

Ranpha jumped up, grabbed the improbable moon— and was dragged along after it. "I HATE THIS JOB!!" she wailed.


	5. Happiness Is A Warm Gun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 8-Apr-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "companion" prompt.
> 
> See also "Happiness Is A Warm Gun" by the Beatles.
> 
> This contains mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Ranpha was reading some personal ads.

Forte walked up. "Still looking for love?" she asked in a gently teasing voice.

"I don't see a man by your side," Ranpha said.

Forte held up her pistol. "This is the only companion *I* need."

"That gun won't keep you warm through the night," an unusually forward Ranpha said.

"You've never held this gun after it's been fired." Forte caressed the barrel of her pistol in a vaguely disturbing way. "Oh, how I love to hold the still-warm muzzle, just after it's... discharged..."

Ranpha sweat-dropped. "For goodness' sake, you two. Get a room."


	6. The Low Spark Of High Heels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 5-May-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[put on your red shoes and dance the blues](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1111764.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also "[The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgyCCOypMPQ)" by Traffic.
> 
> This contains slapstick violence. Reader discretion is advised.

As Ranpha walked up, Milfeulle noticed that she was taller— and very unsteady on her feet. Milfeulle looked down, and saw that she was wearing new red high-heeled shoes.

"Duh-did you notice?" Ranpha asked, as she took a wobbly step forward. "I've guh-got six-inch huh-heels now."

"Why do you wear high heels?" Milfeulle asked. "They look uncomfortable, and they must be difficult to work in."

"Buh-because they muh-make me look sexeeEEEEE!!" Ranpha lost her balance entirely, stumbled through an open doorway, and fell down a flight of steps.

_At least she looked sexy when she died_ , Milfeulle thought to herself.


	7. High Caliber Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 11-Jul-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[size was never so daunting](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1165513.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains cheesy adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Commander O'Huey was introducing a pair of prospective clients to the Angel Troupe. "And this," he said, "is Forte Stollen, our resident weapons expert."

Forte held up two high-caliber pistols and struck a dramatic pose. "Atcher service," she said proudly.

"Just look at the size of her shooters!" one of the male prospects said admiringly.

The other man agreed enthusiastically. "She's got a sweet little arsenal on her."

Forte dropped her arms, hung her head and sighed. "Yeah, yeah. 'And she has big guns, too.' Honestly, I've heard this routine so many times, it hardly even offends me any more."


	8. Attaway Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 14-Aug-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[we will now take the path of courage](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1186164.html)" prompt.

Mint was pointing out the location of some Lost Technology on a large star chart to the other Angels.

"...and this Lost Technology is on this uninhabited terrestrial planet," Mint said. "It's perfectly safe."

"Sounds like a simple assignment," Ranpha said. "How do we get there from here?"

"First, we'll have to navigate this highly turbulent deep-space asteroid cloud," Mint said, "and then we'll have to sling-shot along the event horizon of this black hole, pass this other star that's about to go supernova, and evade a hostile alien space-fleet in this quadrant..."

"...I hate this job," Ranpha said weakly.


	9. Who Wants Stuffing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 30-Aug-2007; humor; 100 words.

Milfeulle had brought a tea tray to the shooting range, to offer refreshments to Forte during a break from target practice.

"By the way," Milfeulle said, "I couldn't help but notice that your targets are pictures of Normad."

"Yeah," Forte said, "but I have to say that using them isn't as satisfying as shooting the real thing."

Milfeulle sweat-dropped. "Oh?"

"The terrified squealing of his pathetic little high-pitched voice..." Forte mused. "And the way my bullets just tear through his soft stuffing..."

As Forte began to giggle in a deeply disturbing way, Milfeulle slowly and nervously backed away from her.


	10. Fingering The Culprit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 13-Sep-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[you've given me the answer](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1216936.html)" prompt.
> 
> This takes place after episode 15 of the first TV series ("Lost Item Pot Au Feu").
> 
> This contains mild slapstick violence. Reader discretion is advised.

Milfeulle has summoned 'Mother Milky Way' for another consultation regarding lost items. "I was wondering," she asked, "if you could tell me who stole the cookies that I just baked."

The poorly disguised Ranpha brushed away some tell-tale cookie crumbs, hastily drained a tall glass of milk, and then held up her crystal ball. "Well then, let's ask the WHOOPS!!"

The solid smooth crystal ball suddenly slipped through Ranpha's greasy fingers, and fell on her foot. "EEYOWTCH!!" said Ranpha, breaking character, and also dropping more uneaten cookies.

"It was you?" a surprised Milfeulle asked. "Actually, I thought Ranpha stole them."


	11. 6 7/8 Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 16-Dec-2007; humor/parody; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[everyday is the yesterday of tomorrow](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1321868.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also [_9 1/2 Weeks_](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/9%C2%BD_Weeks).
> 
> This contains adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Ranpha met Forte and Milfeulle in a station hallway— to their surprise.

"Miss Ranpha!! Where have you been!?" Milfeulle asked.

"You've been missing for weeks!" Forte said.

"I met an incredible man," Ranpha said distantly. "From the moment we first met... I was his, body and soul, to do with as he pleased."

"Too much information," Forte said.

"Days turned into weeks," Ranpha continued. "When we were together, it was as if we had no past or future. Only the 'now' mattered."

"It sounds amazing," Milfeulle said. "Why did it end?"

Ranpha suddenly burst into tears. "HE BOUGHT A CALENDAR!!"


	12. Cosmosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 1-Jan-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[this universe we cannot control](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1361030.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also _Cosmos: A Personal Voyage_ by Carl Sagan.
> 
> This contains mild slapstick violence. Reader discretion is advised.

The Angels were star-gazing from a panoramic space-station window.

"Deep space is so beautiful," Milfeulle said reverently. "Just look at all the stars..."

"And those are just a few stars," Mint said, "among billions and billions... and billions... and billions... and BILLIONS... and BILLIONS—"

Forte dope-slapped Mint. "...thank you, Forte," a dazed Mint said. "I must have got 'stuck'."

"No problem," Forte said.

"Space can be overwhelming," Ranpha said. "Even our galaxy is only one among billions and billions—"

Forte dope-slapped Ranpha. "...don't start looking for any excuse to do that," Ranpha growled.

"Too late," an amused Forte said smugly.


	13. Your Gold Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 20-Feb-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[clad in the beauty of a thousand stars](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1430852.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also "[Your Gold Dress](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aN3kKoNONak)" by XTC.

"I heard that Ranpha finally landed a rich boyfriend," Milfeulle said to Mint. "She must be happy."

"You should see the dress that he gave her," Mint said. "Its very fabric is woven from gold, platinum and precious heavy metals. And it's encrusted with the largest jewels of a thousand star-systems."

"Goodness," said Milfeulle. "Can a girl actually wear a dress like that?"

Ranpha slowly dragged herself into the room on her belly, struggling under the immense weight of her new dress. "Help... me..." she gasped.

"Not in terrestrial gravity, no," Mint said.

"Can't... breathe..." Ranpha said weakly. "Ribs... cracking..."


	14. Hiccup And Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 3-Mar-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[your heaving chest](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1506131.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains really, REALLY cheesy adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Forte sat down to dinner with the other Angels. "* _hic_ *" she said loudly.

"Are you alright?" asked Milfeulle.

"Darn hiccups * _hic_ *" said Forte. "And I * _hic_ * can't— what!?"

Milfeulle was blushing. "When you hiccup, your, um... uh..."

"They bounce beautifully," Ranpha said.

Forte scowled. "WHAT!? * _hic_ * Are you all * _hic_ * perverts!?"

"Actually, it's rather mesmerizing," Mint said. Vanilla nodded silently.

Forte held up her pistol. "QUIT * _hic_ * STARIN' AT ME!!" she yelled.

Ranpha smirked. "You're jiggling so much, you couldn't hit any of us."

"It's strange," Milfeulle said. "I'm suddenly hungry for two bowls of Jello."

"* _hic_ * ARRGH!!" said Forte.


	15. Alum Alumni

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 3-Apr-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[lemon-flavored kisses](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1549763.html)" prompt.
> 
> Just an excuse to use [a joke from a Three Stooges film](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alum#In_popular_culture).
> 
> This contains mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Milfeulle found Ranpha stirring something in a station kitchen. "Is that lemonade?" asked Milfeulle.

"Yes," said Ranpha. "Want some?"

"Please!" Milfeulle said.

Ranpha poured a glass for her friend and another for herself. They clinked glasses and drank.

"Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo," said Milfeulle through puckered lips. [1]

"Ooo ooo ooo," said Ranpha. "Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo." [2]

Forte walked up. "Oh, sorry," she said. "Were you two about to make out?"

As Milfeulle and Ranpha blushed furiously, Forte helped herself to a third glass of lemonade.

"Ooo ooo ooo ooo!" said Forte. [3]

—

[1] "I think you used alum instead of sugar."

[2] "Yes, you're right. I don't know how this could be more embarrassing."

[3] "This lemonade tastes great!"


	16. Hearing Her Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 3-Jul-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[preventative measures](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1685108.html)" prompt.

"Forte?" said Mint. "You've got plugs in your ears."

"What?" said Forte.

"You've got plugs in your ears!" Mint said again.

"What?" Forte said again.

"I SAID," Mint said, "YOU'VE GOT PLUGS IN YOUR EARS!!"

"I can't hear you," Forte said. "I've got plugs in my ears."

"Why?" Mint asked, as Forte pulled out the plugs. "Were you protecting your hearing during your target-shooting?"

"That," Forte said, "and Ranpha got asked out on a date, and when she gets back, she's gonna want to tell us ALL about it."

"Do you have a spare set of earplugs?" Mint asked hopefully.


	17. Trigger Fingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 13-Aug-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[trigger space](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1720454.html)" prompt.

Ranpha walked up to Forte, who was grumbling to herself and toying with a tiny handgun. "Is something wrong with that gun?" Ranpha asked.

"Not exactly." Forte held the gun up on her index finger. "The trigger guard is so small that it's stuck behind the joint of my finger."

"Really?" said Ranpha. "In the movies, your finger usually gets stuck in the barrel." She pushed her finger into the tiny gun's barrel.

Then Ranpha tried to pull her finger out— but it really was stuck. "Oops," said Ranpha.

Forte face-palmed with her free hand. "Not helpful, Ranpha," she noted.


	18. Milfeulleing Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 24-Aug-2008; general/humor; 200 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[the turn of her heel, the nape of her neck](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1720454.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains mild femslash humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Milfeulle walked into the station conference room, and found Ranpha lying face down on a conference room couch, apparently fast asleep.

_Miss Ranpha is so beautiful_ , Milfeulle idly thought. _With her high-heeled shoes and her sleek dress, and her tiny figure... she's just like a little doll..._

To her own surprise, Milfeulle reached out to touch Ranpha's hair. And then she stroked it a few times, pulling it away from Ranpha's neck.

"What are you doing, Milfeulle?" asked Ranpha, without looking up or moving.

"EEP!!" Milfeulle pulled back. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me!—"

Ranpha turned her head and smiled warmly. "I only asked what you were doing. I didn't mean that you had to stop. Actually, it felt really nice."

Milfeulle blushed until her face was as pink as her hair. "Uhm..." she stammered. "Er... uh..."

Ranpha turned back. "Tell you what," she said. "If you fetch my hair brush, and pick up where you just left off? I'll give you a massage in return."

Milfeulle relaxed. "Well, alright. It's a deal. Just between friends?"

"I'm between boyfriends now," Ranpha said casually. "Either as friends, or more than friends, is OK with me."

Milfeulle gulped.


	19. Lost In Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 16-Dec-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[and night with different stars](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1912785.html)" prompt.

Milfeulle and Ranpha returned from a distant mission and shut down the Chrono Drives of their space-craft. But they quickly realized that something was wrong.

"That doesn't look like our home star," Ranpha said to Milfeulle via ship telecom.

"Mmm," said Milfeulle.

"And I don't recognize any constellations in any direction," Ranpha said.

"Mmm," said Milfeulle.

"Milfeulle?" asked Ranpha. "Do you know what this means?"

Milfeulle gasped. "Oh, no! All the stars an' planets an' stuff got moved around!! How are we going to put them back in the right place!?"

"You're twice as lost as I am," Ranpha said.


	20. Closed Door Captioned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 19-Feb-2009; humor; 200 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days_exchnge**](http://31-days-exchnge.livejournal.com/) "start doing something and I'll come over" prompt.
> 
> This contains mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Forte happened to stroll past Ranpha's room. Milfeulle was kneeling in front of Ranpha's closed door and listening to a glass pressed against the door.

"Um, Milfeulle?" asked Forte. "What are you doing?"

"Eavesdropping on Ranpha," Milfeulle said.

"You're doing it wrong," Forte said. "You're supposed to put the open end of the glass against the door. But why are you eavesdropping on Ranpha?"

"Listen for yourself." Milfeulle handed her glass to Forte.

As Forte listened for a moment, her face went as red as her hair. "Yikes!" she said. "I knew Ranpha was dating, but I didn't know it was that serious!"

Then Ranpha walked up. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Eavesdropping on Ranpha," Milfeulle said again.

Ranpha cleared her throat loudly. Forte and Milfeulle slowly turned to look at her. "May I go back to my room and watch my movie?" Ranpha asked smugly.

As Ranpha closed her door behind her, Forte and Milfeulle began to leave. But then, Forte paused. "Wait a minute! If it's a movie... just what kind of movie is she watching!?"

Milfeulle and Forte blankly stared at each other for a moment.

And then, they turned back and started to eavesdrop again.


	21. The Gravity Of The Situation Comedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 11-Jul-2010; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) ["I can't climb this ceiling any more"](http://31-days.livejournal.com/2542381.html) prompt.

After the Angel Base briefly lost its artificial gravity, Ranpha and Forte walked into a large open room— and looked up.

"Help," said Milfeulle, who was clinging to a lighting fixture. "Gravity was restored while I was up here. I can't get down."

"Sure you can," Forte said. "Just let go."

"That isn't funny!!" Milfeulle cried.

"No, seriously." Forte held out her arms. "C'mon, hon. I'll catch ya."

Milfeulle gulped and let go. Forte caught her easily.

"Milfeulle's fallen for you, Forte," said Ranpha smugly.

"I'd shoot you for that pun," Forte growled, "if my hands weren't full of Milfeulle."


	22. Dating Simmer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 23-Jan-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[to those who persevere, all things are possible](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3152652.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains mild adult themes. Reader discretion is advised.

"Do you think Ranpha will ever get a boyfriend?" Milfeulle asked Forte.

"To those who persevere, all things are possible," Forte asked. "Why do you ask?"

"Well," an embarrassed Mefeulle said, "she's nice, and we get along well, and I was thinking about making a 'partner pact' with her where, if we're both still single when she turns twenty-five, we would settle down together."

"Sorry, hon," Forte said gently, "but Ranpha and I already made that exact deal."

"Oh," said Milfeulle. "But aren't you almost twenty-five now?"

"Yep," Forte said with a smile. "Ranpha had better get a move on."


	23. Hide Your Tan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 1-Feb-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[these, our bodies, possessed by light](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3162331.html)" prompt.

Milfeulle was surprised to find Ranpha wearing a scarf and long coat, and Forte with skin the same bright red color as her hair.

"That's quite a sunburn, Forte," said Milfeulle.

"Not really," Forte said. "We just got back from a beach-resort planet where the sun randomly colors skin instead of tanning it."

"Oh," Milfeulle said. "Is Ranpha's skin golden to match her hair too?"

"Nope," said a grinning Forte. "C'mon, Ranpha. Show her."

Ranpha sighed and took off her coat to reveal Smurf-blue skin.

"Oh dear," Milfeulle said. "One usually goes on vacation to get rid of the blues."


	24. Franboisant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 19-Feb-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[I'm going to find the thing that's doing this and I'm going to break its heart](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3162331.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains mild cheesy adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

The Angels were talking amongst themselves as they began a criminal investigation.

"Don't worry, girls," Ranpha said confidently. "I'll solve this case in no time."

"But how?" Mint asked. "We don't have any suspects or any clues."

Ranpha struck a pose. "No criminal, male or female, agender or alien, can resist Ranpha Franboise's charms!"

"We can't hear you over the sound of how conceited you are," Forte snarked.

Milfeulle eyed Ranpha's curves with not entirely innocent appreciation. "Well, she is attractive," Milfeulle said.

The well-endowed Forte looked down at herself. "What am I, chopped liver?" Forte said with unusual jealousy.


	25. Pearls Before Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 5-Apr-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[string of pearls](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3181743.html)" prompt.

An elegantly-dressed Ranpha walked up to Forte before leaving on a date. "How do I look?" she asked. "I thought this string of pearls went well with this dress."

"Apparently, the pearls 'went', one way or another," Forte growled, "because they're MY pearls. Haven't I repeatedly asked you not to borrow my things without asking!?"

"Does it really matter?" Ranpha asked. "After all, we're such good friends."

"Yes, we are good friends," Forte agreed. "In fact, our friendship is like those pearls. Do you know why?"

"No," Ranpha said, "why?"

"It was FORMED," Forte yelled, "by YEARS OF CONSTANT IRRITATION!!"


	26. Continuum Interrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 3-May-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[Anaklusmos...the current that takes one by surprise. And before you know it, you have been swept out to sea](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3192648.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also [_Life, The Universe And Everything_](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life,_the_Universe_and_Everything).
> 
> This contains fourth-wall breaking. Reader discretion is advised.

A weary Ranhpa dragged herself into the Angel Base lounge to greet Forte. "What happened to you?" Forte asked.

"I had a successful mission and recovered the Lost Technology," Ranpha said as she plopped down on a sofa. "But I had an awful time trying to return to base."

"Why?" Forte asked.

"Eddies," said Ranpha, "in the space-time continuum."

A silence fell over the room. Ranpha stared expectantly at Forte, who looked away and gazed at the far wall.

"Oh, for goodness' sake!" Ranpha suddenly cried. "Would you just say the punch line already!?"

"Who's Eddie?" asked Forte.


	27. Wanted, But Not Really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 20-Aug-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[even if I now saw you only once, I would long for you through worlds, worlds, worlds](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3229023.html)" prompt.

Ranpha walked into a space-station bar and showed the bartender a picture. "Have you seen this man?" she asked.

"No, I'm afraid not," the bartender said. "Why do you ask? Pardon my saying, but you're WAY out of his league."

Ranpha showed her Galaxy Angel ID. "Actually, he's a wanted criminal. I've pursued him across half the galaxy."

"Oh, I see," the bartender said. "He must be extremely dangerous."

"No," Ranpha said sadly, "I'm wasting the best years of my life and my career chasing a small-time embezzler."

The bartender poured Ranpha a drink. "On the house. You need it."


	28. Snuggle Struggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 18-Oct-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[snuggling](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3253389.html)" prompt.
> 
> This is a "snuggle struggle," _**not**_ a "struggle snuggle" (that's something completely different...)

Milfeulle walked up to Forte, who was sitting on a couch and holding one arm around a resting Ranpha. "Is everything alright?" Milfeulle asked.

"Yeah," Forte said. "She just had a bad day and needed a hug."

"Well," Milfeulle said, "I could use a hug too." She snuggled up against Forte's other shoulder and fell asleep too.

Mint walked up. "Ooh, a kitten pile!" She climbed up on Forte's lap and also quickly drifted off to sleep.

And then, Vanilla walked up. "Can't!— move!—" Forte gasped. "Do!— something!—"

Vanilla silently bowed her head, clasped her hands, and prayed for Forte.


	29. Watch The Rear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 14-Nov-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[You can rely on me. I will always let you down](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3253389.html)" prompt.
> 
> This is somewhat (but not entirely?) OOC for Ranpha.

While on space patrol in their Angel Frames, Forte and Ranpha suddely came under attack.

"I think I can take them," Forte said over intercom, "but I'll need you to guard my back."

"OK," Ranpha said.

"So you're gonna guard my back, right?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me what you're gonna do, Ranpha."

"I'm gonna guard your back."

A minute later, Forte called from her badly damaged craft. "WHY! DIDN'T! YOU! GUARD! MY! BACK!?"

"I just got a notification," Ranpha said. "There's a two-for-one sale at our favorite shopping planet."

"GREAT!!" Forte yelled. "MAYBE WE CAN BUY A COUPLE OF NEW SPACECRAFT!!"


	30. The Girl Whose Wolf Cried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 6-Jan-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[wolves are less brave than they seem](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3284216.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

"How was your blind date last night?" Forte asked Ranpha.

"Awful," Ranpha said. "He was a hottie, but he was also really pushy. He wanted to do things I don't usually do until the fifth or sixth date."

"Ooh, I hate guys like that," Forte said. "Did you have to cancel the date with him?"

"No," Ranpha sniffled. "When I started to talk about our wedding plans, he totally chickened out and ran away from me."

"How was your date last night?" Forte asked Ranpha.

"Awful," Ranpha said. "He was a hottie, but he was also really pushy. He wanted to do things I don't usually do until the fifth or sixth date."

"Ooh, I hate guys like that," Forte said. "Did you have to tell him to leave you alone?"

"No," Ranpha sniffled. "When I started to talk about our wedding plans, he totally chickened out and ran away from me."

"Some men don't know how to take 'no' for an answer," Forte said, "but YOU don't know how to take 'YES' for an answer."

"Some men don't know how to take 'no' for an answer," Forte said, "but YOU don't know how to give 'yes' for an answer."


	31. Girls Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 4-Feb-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[I pulled the heart out of the night](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3295603.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Ranpha had dragged Forte to a singles bar. The place was packed, but Ranpha was having no luck, and Forte was bored silly.

"What does a girl have to do to get some attention!?" a lonely Ranpha said.

"You want attention?" Forte said. "Alright. Don't take this the wrong way, hon."

Forte held Ranpha's face and kissed her deeply. Several nearby singles openly stared at them.

"That should get both you AND me some attention," Forte said smugly.

Ranpha blushed breathlessly. "Forte? Why don't YOU take me home?"

"I told you not to take that the wrong way," Forte noted.


	32. Lost Technology Cause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 14-Mar-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[lost](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3306592.html)" prompt.

Milfeulle and Mint were slowly working their way through a huge storage room, scanning and cataloging shelves of Lost Technology.

"Do you think that we'll ever recover all of the Lost Technology?" Milfeulle asked. "If we do, I guess we'll be out of a job."

"Don't worry," Mint said. "The EDEN Civilization created this Lost Technology, but our own civilization is also manufacturing its own technology—"

A worried Ranpha walked up. "Have you seen my barcode scanner?" she asked. "I'm sure I left it sitting somewhere around here."

Mint completed her thought. "...and our own civilization is also 'losing it'."


	33. No Heterosexuals In Foxholes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 2-Apr-2017; humor; 200 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[if you believe in the invisible deity, why can't you believe in the desperation of humans?](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3316945.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also "[There are no atheists in foxholes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_are_no_atheists_in_foxholes)."
> 
> This contains weird adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

"I heard you had a bad time on your last assignment," Milfeulle said to Ranpha and Forte.

"We were trapped together under heavy fire," Ranpha said. "I admit I was REALLY scared."

"I was pretty scared myself," Forte said kindly. "It's a good thing that I was there with you."

"It reminds me of the time we got caught in a blizzard," Ranpha said. "We had to share a bedroll, and hold each other close all night long, just to stay warm."

"And remember when we were arrested while we were working undercover, and we had to break out of prison handcuffed together?" Forte said. "We were on the run for days, and we had to do EVERYTHING together."

"You've survived so much danger together," Milfeulle said. "It's almost like someone is trying to tell you something."

"It sure is," Ranpha said. "I've GOTTA find a rich MAN and RETIRE!"

Milfeulle bit her lip and turned to Forte. "Um..." she started to say.

"Don't worry about it, Milfeulle," said Forte. "It'd be a shame if we got together after all that danger, and then I KILLED her because she's SO FREAKIN' STUPID!!"

"That would be a shame," Milfeulle agreed mildly.


	34. Catenated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 9-Jun-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "Some things you don't ask, and you don't go around telling. But sometimes there was a need to tell" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains [near-furry Mint](http://galaxyangel.wikia.com/wiki/File:Mint_hamster.png) shenanigans. Reader discretion is advised.

An annoyed Ranpha carried a large box into the Angel Base lounge and set it down next to Milfeulle and Mint. "What's that?" Milfeulle asked.

"I ordered a sexy cat-girl outfit for a costume party," Ranpha said, "and they sent me THIS." She held up a full-body feline-mascot costume.

Mint suddenly choked on her tea. "Are you alright?" Milfeulle asked.

"Yep," a red-in-the-face Mint gasped.

Milfeulle turned back to Ranpha. "That costume sure is big," Milfeulle said. "I think BOTH of us would fit inside it."

Mint choked again. "Are you sure you're OK?" Ranpha asked.

"Maybe not," Mint admitted.


	35. Plan Queen Bee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 20-Jul-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[heavy is the crown on the head of the unwilling](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3327585.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains weird adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

"We've traced some Lost Technology to a hive-city on the alien world of the [Bee People](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeePeople)," Commander O'Huey said to Ranpha. "Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to impersonate a visiting queen bee, infiltrate the hive, and recover the lost tech."

"Understood," Ranpha said. "Is there anything else I need to know?"

"The customs of the Bee People," O'Huey said. "As a visiting queen, you'll be expected to go naked, drench yourself in warm honey, and be hand-fed by male drones."

"That shouldn't be a problem," Ranpha said casually. "It's pretty much my usual Friday night routine."


	36. Strange Phenomena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 10-Aug-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[the moon appeared in all her fullness and so the women stood around the altar](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3328150.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> See also "[Strange Phenomena](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3gdcW-d2Y8)" by Kate Bush.
> 
> This contains extreme silliness. Reader discretion is advised.

Mint was sitting at a station terminal, trying to identify signals from deep space, while the other Angels stood behind her.

"It's the same series of [signals](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVBHKXfSKBg) over and over again," Mint said. "Still, it could just be some strange natural [phenomena](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5Mc55P1i9g&t=49s)—"

Ranpha interrupted her. "Doo DOO doo-DOO-doo!"

"You know," Mint said, "you don't HAVE to do that when someone says 'phenomena'—"

Forte interrupted her in turn. "Doo DOO doo DOO!"

"Oh, I give up," Mint said sadly. "...PHENOMENA."

"Doo DOO doo-DOO-doo," Ranpha and Forte sang together. "Doo-DOO-doo, doo-DOO-doo, doo-DOO-doo-doo-doo DOO DOO DOOOOOOO DOO!!"

"I don't get it," Milfeulle said.


	37. Catch And Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 7-Sep-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[a man is sufficient](https://31-days.livejournal.com/2593257.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

"Congratulations on your successful mission," Milfeulle said to Ranpha. "I heard that you captured several criminals."

"Thanks," Ranpha said. "Yeah, I guess it was a success."

"You don't seem too happy about it," Milfeulle said.

"After I captured those men," a lonely Ranpha said, "I hated to surrender them to the local authorities."

Milfeulle sweat-dropped. "Ranpha, you can't keep men like property."

"I wouldn't want ALL of them," Ranpha said, "but they could've given me ONE."

"Now you're just being silly," Milfeulle said.

"They could even leave the handcuffs on him," Ranpha added.

"Now you're just being creepy," Milfeulle said.


	38. Angel Of The Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 18-Oct-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[you were a vision in the morning when the light came through](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3329101.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> See also "[Angel Of The Morning](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTzGMEfbnAw)" by Juice Newton.
> 
> This contains vaguely creepy humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Mint, Milfeulle, and Forte were having a late Saturday breakfast when a disheveled Ranpha stumbled into the room and sleepily poured herself a mug of coffee.

"You won't catch a man looking like that," Forte said smugly.

"Actually, I look like this BECAUSE I caught a man last night," Ranpha said smugly.

"Too much information," Mint said.

"Miss Ranpha, please," Milfeulle said. "What kind of example are you setting for your junior coworkers?"

As if on cue, an uncharacteristically disheveled Vanilla stumbled into the room and sleepily poured herself a second mug of coffee.

"Oh, THAT ain't RIGHT," Forte said.


	39. Scratch That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 3-Nov-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[flesh without blood](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3329779.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains moar creepy humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Milfeulle found Ranpha squirming in place. "What's wrong?" Milfeulle asked.

"My back is itching like crazy," Ranpha said. "My skin must have dried out."

"Want a backscratch?" Milfeulle asked.

"Oh, would you? Please!" Ranpha turned around.

Milfeulle began scratching. "Oh, YES... that feels SO good," Ranpha sighed.

"I'm... glad?" Milfeulle said nervously.

"Harder!" Ranpha cried breathlessly. "HARDER!!"

"If I scratch harder," Milfeulle said, "I might break your skin."

Ignoring her, Ranpha suddenly unzipped her dress, exposing her back.

"OK," Milfeulle said, "this is getting kinda weird."

"DID I SAY YOU COULD STOP!?" Ranpha snarled.

"NO MA'AM!" Milfeulle cried. "SORRY MA'AM!"


	40. Death From A Budget's Cuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 10-Dec-2017; horror?/humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[night falls earlier each day](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3330148.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).

The Angels stood outside a closed station commissary at 16:45.

"Why did the commissary close before serving dinner?" Milfeulle asked.

"It's probably because of the latest round of budget cuts," Mint said.

"Since when are three meals a non-essential item?" Ranpha asked.

As of on cue, the lights went out. "And the LIGHTS!?" Ranpha cried.

"Listen," Mint said. "The ventilation system has been shut down too."

"They even cut the AIR!?" Ranpha yelled. "What are we gonna DO!?"

"Go to sleep early," Forte suggested, "and conserve our oxygen?"

"I HATE THIS JOB!!" a hyperventilating Ranpha shrieked.

"Or not," Forte sighed.


	41. Dress Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 2-Jan-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[wonderfullest things are ever the unmentionable](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3331131.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains nudity and cheesy adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Forte found Ranpha wearing a strapless black party dress— from Forte's own closet. "You really ought to stop borrowing my clothing," Forte said.

"But this dress looks good on me." Ranpha held up her arms and shook her assets— and the dress slid off her and pooled around her ankles.

"You have a, um, lovely figure," an embarrassed Forte said, "but it isn't 'full' enough to hold up dresses in my size. However, if you DO wear them, AND you go 'commando'? Please have them cleaned afterwards. Nothing personal, but eww."

"Roger that," a naked and equally embarrassed Ranpha said.


	42. Acute Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 8-Feb-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[no one will say 'I'm not listening because the spelling is wrong'](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3332043.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains gratuitous puns. Reader discretion is advised.

The Angels waited by the front door of a fine restaurant while Mint argued with the headwaiter.

And then, a resigned Mint returned to the others. "Let's go home and order a pizza," she said.

"Why won't they let us in?" Ranpha asked. "I thought you made a reservation."

"I did," Mint said. "But they misspelled our party's name as "Galaxy ANGLES."

"Couldn't you explain their mistake?" Forte asked.

"I tried," Mint said, "but he said I was being OBTUSE."

The other Angels silently stared at her.

"...GET it?" Mint asked eagerly. "An [OBTUSE ANGLE](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angle#Types_of_angles)! GET IT!?"

"No," Milfeulle said.


	43. She Hates That Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 7-Mar-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[I can look interested and nod at appropriate moments](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3333751.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> "I HATE THIS JOB" has become a personal running joke. To be honest, I've only watched some of the anime, but it seems to suit Ranpha.

"I've gradually come to the conclusion," Commander O'Huey said to Ranpha, "that you find your career with the Angel Troupe insufficiently fulfilling."

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Ranpha asked with a painfully fake smile.

"The several dozen times I've heard you screaming 'I HATE THIS JOB!!'" O'Huey said. "I'm near retirement myself, but I'd still hate to see you quit."

"I'll try to work on my attitude," Ranpha said, "during my next assignment."

"Excellent. And as for your next assignment..." O'Huey held up a folder labelled 'CERTAIN DEATH - FOR EXPENDABLE STAFF ONLY'.

"THIS JOB!!" Ranpha wailed. "I HATE IT!!"


	44. Dolled Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 14-Apr-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](https://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[great, you just killed Barbie](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3336873.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains slapstick violence and cruel humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Milfeulle found Mint examining what looked like an artist's manikin. "What's that?" Milfeulle asked.

"Lost Technology," Mint said, "but we don't know what it does."

As Ranpha walked past, Mint tapped the doll— and Ranpha froze. "* _mmmph_ *!!" said Ranpha.

"I found a switch!" Mint said excitedly. "Ooh, I can pose it now." She folded the doll's arms behind its back, and then twisted its legs into a backbend.

Milfeulle sweat-dropped. "Um, Mint?"

"What?" Mint looked up, and found Ranpha lying on the floor with her head between her ankles.

"When did you take up yoga?" Mint asked Ranpha.

Ranpha whimpered.


	45. Spasticity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 5-May-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](https://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[now at last the worst is over](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3337647.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Forte and Ranpha had returned from a days-long difficult mission. "I don't know about you," Forte said, "but I am le pooped."

"I'm going to my favorite local spa to 'recharge'," Ranpha said. "Wanna come with me?"

"Maybe," Forte said. "What services do they offer?"

"I'll start with their hot mud baths, and then I"ll have myself sealed in seaweed and cling-wrap," Ranpha said eagerly, "and later, I'll have their most intense deep-tissue massage... oh, and I'm also overdue for a bikini waxing."

"On second thought," Forte said nervously, "I think I'll just order a pizza and watch cat videos."


	46. Your Possible Pasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 5-Jun-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](https://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[say goodbye to the past you never knew](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3338841.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also "[Your Possible Pasts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogMbQ7udHJo)" by Pink Floyd.

Mint was briefing the other Angels on their next assignment.

"We'll all be working under assumed identities," Mint said. "Forte will be a curator of a weapons collection; Ranpha will be a happily married philanthropist; Milfeulle will be a popular celebrity chef—"

"Is this some kind of a JOKE!?" Ranpha yelled.

"Excuse me?" Mint said mildly.

"Don't you find it humiliating," Forte asked, "to be forced to pretend that you've achieved your distant dreams?"

"Well," an annoyed Mint replied, "maybe you could pretend to be team-mates who aren't always COMPLAINING and GIVING ME GRIEF!!"

"That's even less realistic," Milfeulle said.


	47. The Long Arm Of The Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 5-Jun-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](https://31-days.dreamwidth.org/) "[it reached even to here](https://31-days.dreamwidth.org/3286916.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains SO MUCH WRONG that I should just QUIT RIGHT NOW. Reader discretion is advised.

Forte and Ranpha carried a medical kit into a holding cell containing a huge greasy male career criminal.

"This guy has Lost Technology on him," Forte said. "The good news is, we have a warrant to search him."

"And the bad news?" Ranpha asked.

"We have a warrant to SEARCH him." Forte held out an unopened elbow-length latex glove. "ALL of him."

Ranpha flipped a coin. "Call it," she said.

"Heads," Forte said.

They checked Ranpha's coin... and Forte sighed in relief.

Ranpha glanced at the criminal... and he smiled a deeply disturbing smile.

"I hate this job," Ranpha whimpered.


	48. No Plan B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 8-Aug-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](https://31-days.dreamwidth.org/) "[my endangered bones are sweet](https://31-days.dreamwidth.org/3305357.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also "[No Plan B](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcXxarTE-os)" by They Might Be Giants.
> 
> This contains pending weird slapstick violence. Reader discretion is advised.

"...and that's the plan for our next mission," Mint said to the other Angels. "Does anyone have any questions?"

"Why do I have to [light the fuse to the dynamite](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R66Fvhx0vQ)?" Ranpha asked. "Why can't YOU do the dirty work for once?"

"Because I bruise easily," Mint said in a not-at-all convincing innocent little girl's voice.

"Do you think I'M made out of ADAMANTIUM!?" Ranpha yelled.

"Would you like to 'trade places' with me in Mint's plan?" Forte asked Ranpha.

"I appreciate the offer," Ranpha said nervously, "but your task isn't any safer— and industrial adhesive is bad for my complexion."


End file.
